Nurturing is healing .....

“Take care of your body it is the only place you have to live”, this is so true.  Over the past week I have been feeling the occasional sharp pain in and around, my newly reconstructed left breast.  Is it stress? Is it my body telling me to look after myself, slow down and BREATHE?  Maybe it is to just be still and nurture me at this time.  Maybe my body is asking me to reconnect to me.  I don’t know? But I am asking questions “what is right about this I cannot see yet?” and I have an open mind to see the answers be revealed in Divine time.

    

Even though, I am moving forward in my own personal journey of change.  I still sometimes forget to see the amazing changes physically, mentally and spiritually that I have been through especially this past two years.  I have thoughts of a song “if a picture paints a thousand words”, well my story was vividly revealed to me two days ago.  While I was looking for a photo of a friend’s husband that was taken at my 50^th birthday in July, I saw the photo file of me topless on a beach in the South of France, the holiday that hubby & I went on just after the diagnoses with breast cancer in May 2010.  I am so glad that I have these to see as it is my way of embracing me, to acknowledge my body and be free of insecurity, judgement or embracement of my breasts and torso.  My story is in pictures from the beginning where I can see that the nipple of my left breast was dipping inwards almost like collapsing compared to my healthy right breast.  I didn’t want to believe that there was anything wrong at the time I was diagnosed, because I felt well and healthy; I also had to believe that what if I could change it and my breast to be well.  “What would it take?”  Well in my case it was revealed that it would take surgery, to have my left breast removed and for many medical treatments and another surgery to create a new breast from another part of my body. Seeing the photos of my body just prior to reconstruction surgery in January 2012, having only my right breast and no scare along the bikini line where they cut me from one hip to the other, using my stomach muscle to rebuild my cleavage.  I would like to say what an amazing job my surgeons did at the removal and reconstruction. I so appreciate the care and expertise they took to make my body as we say “normal” whatever that is?  The strength it has taken, to have the courage to walk this journey of change and learning, has been a focused and determined one on my part.  I have at the end of the day had to walk this journey, supporting me.  Yes, I have had many people come in and out and some have stayed, but we all have our part to play the best way we know how. 

There are so many energies and shifts happening around me at this moment.  Time seems to have speeded up and lessons coming faster to learn and old thinking patterns and experiences are being revisited for letting go. Transformations of who we are.  With the Mayan Calender completion approaching in December 2012, it is not only me that is feeling this overwhelming energy of change. 

I have been scared these past few days because it has been a huge path I have had to walk.   I don’t want to have to do it again; I have cried many tears because, I am human.  I am not bullet proof. I am bones, skin, tissue, dna  on a physical level and it is ok to acknowledge that. I have these feelings. I will make decisions to assist me for what to do next.  I also have had to terms that my reality world is moving with my adult daughter moving out of home and spreading her wings to fly in her new chapters of life.

 What I felt drawn to do this morning was to massage my body especially my breast to connect to release the tension in and around them.  Nurturing me.  Society has portrayed the breast as a way of feeding our children, or as sexual pleasure for the man. How often do you view your breasts as your way of feeling pleasure? How often do you look at yourself naked in the mirror as see beauty of your body? Or do you just see the flaws or imperfections?  How many women say “Wow, what a beautiful, sensual and ravishing Goddess, I am”

Copy righted to Ros Clarkson 2012.

Giveaways | Mystic Trinity

Giveaways | Mystic Trinity

What I love is the generous energy of Mystic Trinity.  The jewellery, readings and kindness radiate to all they touch with the LOVE.  Congratulation to your milestones and many more years ahead.  Ros

"Positiveness through Challenges" ..... Karen Tyrrell story of TRUMPH over Mental Illness.

Over the course of my journey, I have had opportunities to meet some amazing people.  They too, have gone through big challenges, but have found ways to make it through.  Karen Tyrrell is one of those wonderful, courageous people and I invited her to share her story with you here.  

Karen's book ME AND HER: A Memoir of Madness is now available to read and I have enjoyed getting to know this amazing lady.  Thank you very much Karen for sharing your journey. 

My TRIUMPH over Mental Illness … Karen Tyrrell

My name’s Karen Tyrrell, author of Me and Her: A Memoir Of Madness. I’ve triumphed over mental illness and I share my story of hope and Recovery.

How did I become Mentally Ill?

As a teacher, I was repeatedly harassed and stalked by my parents of one of my students. Each day they wreaked verbal, written and psychological abuse. I developed severe stress, jaw clenching anxiety, night terrors and long term sleep deprivation until I could take no more. I escaped and ran to a lonely motel. Eventually police found me, incarcerating me in a psyche hospital.

How did I Recover from severe mental illness and Transform my life?

My first step was to embrace my diagnosis of bipolar disorder and learn everything about my illness. I was determined to recover and return home to full mental health and to teaching my class of year two students again. Mental illness is like any other illness … it has symptoms, diagnosis, treatment … and most importantly Recovery.

How did I Reclaim my life?

I radically changed my daily routines into ultra-healthy ones and learned how to balance my emotions. I developed a proactive wellness plan with a repertoire of coping strategies to counter-act the early warning signs of stress and insomnia.

I embraced the eastern philosophy of Mindfulness, learning to live in the NOW. I empowered myself with potent visualization techniques, rehearsing positive outcomes, facing life’s challenges head-on. Each day I scribbled down how I was feeling, expressing my angst, literally writing my way to recovery.

I’ve come so far along my journey to Recovery but realise so many out there are still grappling with stress, depression, anxiety, insomnia, addictions and mental health issues. My dream is that Me and Her will open up discussions on mental illness and mental health, providing hope and a guide to recovery for those dealing with their issues.

I’m proud to say, I’m now a pro-active mental health advocate, public speaker, workshop presenter, coordinator of Logan City Writers collective and the writer of six books. If I can recover from the depths of severe psychosis and mania, think of what YOU can achieve in your life.

Me and Her: A Memoir Of Madness is available on Amazon http://lnkd.in/BmuVR7

Please go to Karen’s website www.karentyrrell.com to subscribe to her FREE mental health Me and Her newsletter. Just leave a comment on the contact page. Please join Karen’s Facebook page, Karen Tyrrell Author. http://www.facebook.com/karenwrites19

What would you like to ask Karen?

"ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE" .....What this means to Renee of Intuitive Coaching.

Recently, I was invited as a guest writer for a fellow facebook page "Intuitive Coaching".  As a exchange of energy I asked Renee to be my guest on this blog and asked the question? "What does the phrase ~anything is possible mean to you"?  This is Renee's reply:

Thinking of anything is possible give me limitless choices. This puts a big smile on my faces, because this means I can eat "the cherry on top" every day. What an amazing thought, the possibility's. It give the opportunities to go out there and try new things and if they don't work out, that is okay, something new will come along. It is an experience and hé anything is possible, so why not try something new. Share it with others and invite them to share with you.  Renee


Thank you for sharing you thoughts Renee. 

Renee Vos De Wael is the heart of Intuitive Coaching.  

Are you ready to make a change and start living your own life!  Follow Intuitive Coaching facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Intuitive-coaching/182853788424000

Website:  www.reneevosdewael.com

Ros Clarkson's interview with Rozine of My Dreams Matter

http://mydreamsmatter.com/2012/04/09/inspirational-interview-cancer-survivor-ros-clarkson/

Ros Clarkson guest writer for Intuitive Coach Blog.....

http://reneevosdewael.com/we-shall-allow-our-intuition-to-guide-us-by-ros-clarkson/

Give to yourself.

Within each and every one of us there is a beautiful soul waiting to be discovered.  

Self care: love and nurture YOU unconditionally.

We are all spiritual beings having a human experience.  How often do you criticize your body? Speak negatively about your perceived imperfections?  Beat yourself up over mistakes?  Spent hours, days, months and sometimes years worrying about stuff you have no control over. 

I have some wonderful news; you can release the weight off your shoulders NOW... when you feel these old ways of thinking negatively ~ STOP. 

Take a deep breathe in through your nose, bring it right down deep into your body, count to 4 slowly... then exhale.  Do this as many times as you require to feel PEACEFUL.  Focus onto positive thoughts/feelings/actions to bring about peace and clarity. It takes time, but you can master it.

Taking time to be surrounded by nature is a wonderful way to revitalize your spirit/body/mind.  Give it a try you may well be glad you did.

"I give myself the kindness and forgiveness I would show others" - Alan Cohen.

Judgement, let’s get to tolerance

“Don’t judge me. You cannot handle half of what I have dealt with! There’s a reason I do what I do. There’s a reason I’m, who I am”. Dylan Glynn Jones

Judgement: A formal utterance of an authoritive opinion or an opinion so pronounced.

Tolerance: Sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices, differencing from or conflicting with one’s own.  

Now, there is an interesting topic “judgement” and, funnily enough it came up again only this week.  We are always reminded to be “non judgemental” and I am in agreement with that if we lived in a perfect world - that would be great.

The intention should be “not to judge others in a negative way”.  But we don’t live in a perfect world and things do happen to us, people will hurt us, let us down, not live up to our expectations, and abandon us. 

We do judge others and we will be judged.  Its part of the human way of thinking at this time, “I hope it changes”.  Until it does we have to find our way to see things more positively and people in a new light.

What if, instead of condemning the JUDGEMENT, we could start seeing that the act was the issue and not condemn the person in a negative way.  What, if instead, it was the start of a process that we view the action, not that person?  Opening your mind to a new possibility of seeing it as a way to grow, to change, to strengthen and to learn to love yourself with compassion as well as others and then you are coming back to ONENESS.

It doesn’t come naturally to begin with; it takes practice, persistence and patience to learn to live a life of LOVING EVERYONE, yourself included.  We live in a world where relationships are all around us and we have to find our way through the maze, to undo all the patterns of negativity that have been wired into us from years gone by.  It’s time to stop beating ourselves up because you haven’t achieved perfection.  But I would say this: “look at the way you see your life and if it is not working the way you wish it to, then it is time to look at it with fresh eyes and start the process of change”. Ros Clarkson.

Channeled Poem.....

Today, is a day I make changes.
Today, miracles will appear.
I feel the softness ALL around me.
Tears of joy will appear.
Release the floods of unsolved anger.
Surrender the pain and the guilt.
You are a child of Divine Power - LOVE, show us no doubt.

Channeled by Ros ~ Findingurwings.

The importance of healing LOVE to self.....

As human beings we do hold the power within us to heal our lives.   The journey that has taken me to discovering my own healing potential was breast cancer.  It was not this journey alone that was my wakeup call.  It was a culmination of many years work prior to this diagnoses which is often referred to “peeling away the layers of the onion”.  Letting go of FEAR opened the door to my faith and belief in me - “Unconditional self love”.

Just as a flower needs to be planted in nourishing soil, given manure and fertilizer, watered regularly, have sunshine to grow.  We as humans need to do this for us as well. Placing yourself first, not in a vein way, but loving and nurturing YOU, is not selfish.  Often people, who judge, have not been taught this or women often use this message that it is Selfish to make you feel guilty.

Receiving is the balance of Giving.

We live in a balance world.

So fill up the vessel that is YOU.

How can you give to others if you are an empty vessel?

The best example is the oxygen mask on a plane they always tell you to put on yours first and then assist others. 

This passage came from a message from DailyOM to my inbox.  “A self-healing day should address the vital needs of the self as a whole while directing healing energy where it is needed most. Solitude is an important part of the process as is the ability to take refuge in a space that is both beautiful and peaceful. Start your healing day by setting the intention that you are dedicating this time to healing yourself. Flowers, candlelight, incense, and music can guide our focus toward a more tranquil state.”

Healing is about care.  Listening to that inner guidance that says “go for a walk, have a nap, draw a picture, sit and take some time to do what brings a smile to your face and be still”.  Since my own healing, especially this past 7 weeks while recuperating after my breast reconstruction surgery, I need to give my body time to heal.  Take time out; sit in the park, read a book, enjoy a chat on the phone or go for a walk this has been a challenge. 

I have been impatient that it is not happening fast enough.  This is the “ego mind” trying to be in charge.  When I let go of those thoughts, I am reminded by friends and messages from the Universe this is a time for REST. 

Being OK with where I am now is important because there is time for the rest to happen.  For now it is time to practice stillness and BEING.

Ros Clarkson – Findingurwings 

One moment in time...

Sharing my experiences through my journey has assisted me to be well. How I have chosen to handled the challenges has opened other peoples minds to a different way of thinking or being.  Do they think the way they have always done or something different?  Insight and choice.

I have enjoyed meeting many people along the journey. Shelly Wilson is a friend.  We have completed 4 chats on blogtalkradio "Believe in believing".  Click on the link and get to know us a little better.  Sit back, grab a cuppa and enjoy.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/shellywilson/2011/12/06/life-enhancement-with-ros-and-shelly--segment-3

"Life is a roller coaster just got to ride it" ~

Find your wings and soar.

Ros

In memory of Nancy.....

I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful patient Nancy during my radiation therapy back in 4th January - 11th February, 2011.  Her character : strong, loving, enjoyed life and enjoyed chatting with others.  A very independent 80 year old lady going through radiation treatment.  I believe she had rectal cancer.  The treatment was very wearing on her body and she was admitted to hospital a couple of times.  So on my daily treatments I would pop in to say "Hi" and have a laugh with her.  She enjoyed seeing my smiling face coming around the door.

I tried to contact Nancy and her daughter Suzanne by phone 3 times on different occasions, unfortunately didn't connect, could only leaving messages, but no call was returned.  At some point I when I thought about Nancy it ocured to me  she was not here with us any longer.

Yesterday, while sat having lunch with a friend at a local cafe a lady approached me "are you Ros" ~ yes, I replied.  She introduced herself "I am Nancy Irwin's daughter Suzanne" last time she had seen me I had a scarf to cover my bald head from the chemo.  She explained that she had received my calls, but it was right in the middle of her mum passing very quickly from a massive heart attack in August 2011.  She was doing so well after the cancer treatments, but she experienced a heart attack and as she was not the sort of woman to want to be a burden to people... she love life and was a good golf player.  I think she made peace and was ready to go home.

I now have closure and very fond memories of NANCY IRWIN. I asked Suzanne to keep in contact as she also have been through breast cancer completing treatment in 2010.  She is considering reconstruction so I can give some support in the future.  Life is interesting, the people we meet and the synchronicities we have.

Fly  Nancy and have fun with the angels..

Ros ~ findingurwings

Today, I found a $5 note mixed in with my Angel Therapy Oracle cards by Doreen Virtue. I had taken these cards to the hospital 4 weeks ago when I underwent my left breast reconstruction and tram flap surgery... The healing has been taking place gradually and each day I am returning to the powerhouse of energy I know  "I am"....

This has been yet another learning curve.  I am continually growing spiritually.  I have continued to meet so many wonderful souls that have given me insight, gifted healings, radiated love and light.  The earth angels: doctors, nurses, friends, family and neighbours have been wonderful.  I feel so in the stream of BLISS that it gives me goosebumps, we are ONE and very much connected.

I went to see the meaning of  number 5 in Angel numbers book: -

"This number relates to change, transformation, transmutation, and alchemy.  Something in your life is changing, or about to change, for the better.... "

New World

Through a guided Golden Core healing with friend Melynnda Button of Edgy Mystic in USA.  I was able to let go of the self limited ceiling that gave me access to the higher spiritual realm, just like Charlie from Willy Wonka's story, I took the glass elevator up only to have the ceiling open for me to go through and up, up to places never imagined...  I met a man sitting on a throne with a long white beard when asked if he could tell me who he was ~ a feeling that it was NOAH, a sense of FREEDOM for me.  Melynnda then explained that this was the man who through destruction brought the NEW WORLD.  


Reconstruction meaning: 

Definition:	rebuilding
Synonyms:	alteration, conversion, reformation, regeneration,rehabilitation, remaking, remodeling,reorganization,  repair, replanning, resetting,restoration

Consider the word reconstruction of which I am healing at the moment, when you look at it from so many aspects over this past 2 year cancer journey especially, I have changed so much mentally, spiritually and physically...... I have a WHOLE new world and I embrace all facets of this amazing journey with gratitude and grace. 

I have spirit guiding me to assist people to view their lives differently... to look at the challenges of life because you have them.  I have learnt that unconditional self love, self care and self nurture is so important and in loving our own essence we allow others to share in that beauty, from the inside out.

"You are stronger than you think" ......... SHINE.


Ros ~ finding ur wings.

Reconstruction and transformation...... healing and new beginnings.

31st January, 2012 I underwent the next surgerical procedure in the journey ~ having Breast Reconstruction and TRAM flap to rebuild mY left breast using my own body tissue. This took approx 8hrs in theatre. Microsurgery is so fine. Due to the radiation treatment I had 4th Jan 2011 - 11 Feb 2011 (25 rounds), I was told by medical student the observed the op that they had to locate a good set of vessels to attach near my arm as the ones normally used had been ~ as he put it *fried* by the radiation. I stayed 10 days in hospital to remove the 3 drains instead of the usual week stay. The breast does look cool and my tummy is a tight a drum... they even created a whole new belly button, my husband does wonder why?? I did ask the medical team and they said everyone has one.... That's it then. 

Today, 16th February I had my first follow up appointment with my wonderful plastic surgeon.  I have been so impressed by his caringness, humanity and total dedication to his work and how he treats his patients.  I have been very blessed to have this man as part of my medical team.  Both surgeons: one that preformed the mastectomy and this doctor for reconstruction have been amazing.  They have honoured my beliefs, quirks (wanting to have crystal taken into theatre) and have explained easily what is the best cause of action, answer questions, gave me time to make my decissions, making it affordable, never getting the feeling that I am just a number or being pressured.  While meeting people that are learning from these Doctor plus the nice medical staff I know there is change in health care and it is up to us to choose the people that feel right to assist us to be WELL.  We do need to do our part to be the best we can be:  Positivity, looking outside the square as well as traditional... what ever feels right, do it for you. 

So the results ~ Maria the nurse removed the old dressing from 6 days ago and replaced with better ones.  The smell that I continued to have from under my left arm and I have pointed out to them through my stay it is not infected but some of the skin did die and so she applied a silver dressing over this area and will assist the healing better. it can be replaced after 3 or 4 days (they provided more for if we need it).. The dressings have covered the cut in my abdomin as well as my left breast where the mastectomy cut was reopened and the fatty tissue was placed to form my left breast.  Some of the skin that was not required after the reconstruction a piece of skin was sent for testing 113x37 mm with a depth of 3mm the results No lesions or masses identified.  As showed  on the results ~ "Sections of skin show focal demal scarring consisten with previous excision site. There is no dysplasia or evidence of malignancy".Celebration ALL IS WONDERFUL. Validation of what I have felt and believed.  So very happy as is my hubby.  Over the next week I should start to get much more energy... It will take several months for the tummy to settle because the mesh was inserted and the tummy was stretch down ~ it is like they have reskined a drum.  The body is taking energy to heal.  I am moving around and the nurse was impressed that I could get up quiet well considering I had recently underwent abdominal surgery.  Yah... 

I go weekly to visit my doctor for a little while ....... I totally recommend this doctor.Hubby then took me to the beach to enjoy the healing ocean and had a celebration of fresh fruit juices and enjoy the day..... it was wonderful. 

Moving forward one step at a time and being kind to ME...

Honoring the journey..... have FAITH & BELIEF.

I honor my talents, my gifts, my love, my pain, my hurt, my insight, my determination to see life has many facets to explore, discover and reflect upon. 

SELF care, SELF nurture and Unconditional LOVE ~ is a winding road with some pot holes, hills and bends. Just as the car that travels along at night with the head lights on only seeing a short distance in front, with trust, belief and faith you will arrive safely at the destination to start a new empowered journey... ♥ Ros.

AMAZING GIFT: What a difference a week makes.......

Happy New Year.   2012 has been working in full force and I have seen so many people going through changes in relationships and emotional issues.  Reassessing and coming to terms with where they are in their lives and asking the question “does this serve my higher good or should I let it go?”.  I know for myself it is one to move forward...  I have received helping guidance from my doctor and been to a counsellor so I have taken control of the wheel and allowed the guidance and warmth of the Divine to continue to assist me by making improved decisions for my continuing journey to WHOLENESS.

This week saw the new moon and the first day of the Chinese New Year ~ year of the Dragon.   Just as many other people, I set out my intentions for the next year. I had burning ceremony in my back yard using a small bbq I purchased a few months ago.  The card I drew was Relationships: My greatest relationship is with myself and our loving Creator.  When this happens the rest will follow. 

The final intention on my list was to have the surgery of left breast reconstruction to go successfully and in perfect time, that it is cost effective and my affirmation is “I am Perfect, Whole and Complete pain free”.

I had been told that the surgery was most likely 28^th February 2012 and my husband even rang the doctor a couple of weeks ago to see how things were progressing (as I am on a list), his office advised that this seems the date.  He also asked if it could be earlier/later, he was told it could be later but definitely not earlier. 

Well, imagine my surprise when the hospital contacted me on Wednesday afternoon this week and they have me on the list for 31^st January and the hospital staff were surprised that I was unaware of this.... after a few phone calls I was headed to the hospital to sign papers to expedite my surgery....  Oh, wow. My head was in a spin it was less than a week and moving forward....

The signs that followed on my journey still amaze me.   I walked to the bus stop and in the window of the local fitness centre was “NEW TIMETABLE Feb 2012” quirky, then the bus arrives as I am still coming to terms with the speed and thoughts of what I was to go through, what I will look like, trying on new underwear and not have to have one side padded. Things you take for granted.  On the Tuesday night I placed a sock to stuff the other side of my nightie visualising what it would look and feel to have both breasts, to see in the mirror an amazing transformation of 2 years with mind/body/spirit all in harmony.  So, as the bus stops at the traffic lights this car pulls beside me and the sign on the rear window is “BREAST EXPRESS”...  I burst out in laughter and thank the universe for hearing my wishes and bringing it to being.   What I know to be true is what we say, feel and think coupled our actions we do create our reality.  

ASK and then believe it will happen at the PERFECT TIME.  

Love & blessings

Ros Clarkson ~findingurwings